I Feel I’m Falling Behind In Life And I Can’t Help Feeling Inadequate Or Jealous Of My Friends.

by Duchess Magazine

Here is a message we received in our inbox. We will appreciate your contributions on this issue. Remember that a problem shared is a problem half solved. If you have an issue bothering you, feel free to send a mail to duchessintmagazine@yahoo.com

Dear Duchess,

I really hate to kind of come clean about this, but I feel like I just have to get it out of my system and somewhat beg for some sort of help.

I’m 28 years old and I kind of feel like I’ve been through a lot. I feel like I’m much older than I really am. I came from a virtually poverty stricken family when I was much younger, I never had nicer things that my classmates or friends had when I was growing up. My parents struggled to keep us afloat, so having the kinds of luxuries that my friends and classmates had growing up was always kind of out of the question.

When I got old enough, I decided for myself that I wanted to do better. I worked very hard through college, worked part time jobs, took on loans, and all. I got a good degree from a good college in a good field. Enough to even make my way through graduate school mostly on scholarships and grants.

I’ve gotten my Bachelor’s and Master’s and have had them around three or four years now. I thought that all the hard work would pay off, but it’s just not. I’m still saddled with debt from undergrad, and I feel like I’m overqualified now for most jobs in my field. I’m barely making enough to scrape by and put together any savings, and I’m finding that I’m more or less just a notch or two above the same situation as my parents were when I was a kid.

This is where things get embarrassing. I’ve got some good friends that I’ve made in town, through college, and some still from my old high school. It just feels like all of them are doing so much better in life. They all seem to have gorgeous husbands, amazing houses, beautiful kids, amazing jobs, everything. Meanwhile I’m scraping by with barely nothing. I have a great guy that I’ve seen off and on for around a year now, but I feel like the two of us are always too busy with work to pursue anything more serious. I’m barely making enough to cover my rent and student loans, nevermind saving anything or doing something personal like traveling.

It’s getting to the point where I just feel inadequate and socially awkward hanging around my friends. I feel like I’m just shadowing them, living in regret of the choices I’ve made, and feeling inadequate compared to what they have. I also can’t help but feel envious of everything they have, and while they’re all great people, I can’t shake these feelings of jealousy around them.

I’m just so sick of it. Trying to better my life in terms of a better paying job or the things in life that it can provide is one thing, but the social issues that being so lagged behind in life is another thing. It’s causing some real social issues for me, I just feel so isolated and I don’t know what to do. Anyone have any advice?

My life just isn’t going where I want it to, and I can’t help but feel a sense of jealousy and social awkwardness around my friends that seem to have it all. I really don’t know what to do anymore.

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daniel February 4, 2016 - 7:23 am

There is more to life than what meets the eye. It’s a feeling of falling behind not that you have actually fallen behind. As young people I always believe the story of Joseph the Hebrew boy in the bible serves as an inspiration. From the lowest point in his life as a slave boy to become the second most influential person in a foreign land.
I believe there is a due time for everything and every one. Keep working hard and be upbeat about the future and wait patiently for your due time. It will surely come. Only be honest and sincere with yourself and dealings with others. Don’t try to make up the loss with undue gain.
Never make the mistake of comparing yourself to your friends because you all started at the same level. Like I said there is a due time. Keep the hard work, mean to pay your debts and if you can’t ask for favourable terms of repayment. And never forget to seek the Lord for what is impossible with men is possible with God.

Anonymous February 4, 2016 - 11:03 am

I know how you feel honey..our situation is almost the same though I make enough money I still don’t have anything to call mine cos I have to spend every thing on my family. But I find solace in God and just pray whenever I’m beginning to get depressed. You go girl just keep on keeping on. You’re stronger than you think

success Gloria February 4, 2016 - 1:54 pm

my dia, if you are a believer, trust in Gods timing and pray hard. it doesn’t matter how old you are but what the Lord has in store for you, He never sleeps……… your time is coming soon. relax in the LORD

Anonymous February 4, 2016 - 4:19 pm

My dear u need Jesus. He’s the only one who can fill in the emptiness u feel within n lift up ur burdens from u. The bible says come onto me all ye dat labour n are heavy laden and i will give u rest. Try it n u ll av a testimony to share. Stay blessed.

Anonymous February 4, 2016 - 7:33 pm

Just pray my dear! And be strong

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