Help! My sister is living with a loser.

by Duchess Magazine
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 Here is a message we received in our inbox. We will appreciate your contributions on this issue. Remember that a problem shared is a problem half solved. If you have an issue bothering you, feel free to send a mail to

Dear Duchess,

Please can you give me advice on a situation that is overwhelming me? I am writing this in respect of the situation of my sister.

My father passed away two years ago. Since then my mother’s health has declined to the point that she is bedridden. My younger sister, who is a nursing sister, lives in the house with my mother and helps to take care of her. She still works as a nursing sister in the day and then cares for our mom at night.

We have a carer who assists in the day. I try and help by going there every weekend and whenever my sister needs me to in the evenings. I have a husband and three children. My sister has never married and has no children.

A few months ago my sister met a man who came to town on business

They became romantically involved and he moved in with her. He had to give up his job to do this. I think the idea is that he will find a job locally. He now lives with her and plays computer games all day. He does not do much around the house at all. My sister gets home and must then cook, clean, etc.

Recently his teenage son moved in with them as his mother could not handle him any more. This boy is a nightmare. He is often drunk and bunks school more often than he attends. I don’t want my children being there around him because he is rude and uses foul language with no regard for anyone else.

I have tried to talk to my sister but she says that she loves him and that she is sure he will eventually get a job. I feel so overburdened for her and I think that she is throwing her life away on this worthless man. To make things even worse he is not even divorced from his ex wife!

How do I help my sister? I don’t want to see her hurt or burnt out.
Thank you Duchess.

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