Help! My Memories Hunts and weigh me down.

By Duchess Magazine

Here is a message we received in our inbox. We will appreciate your contributions on this issue. Remember that a problem shared is a problem half solved. If you have an issue bothering you, feel free to send a mail to
Dear Duchess,
My name is Julie, I was in a relationship for four years, I was physically and emotionally abused as well but I got out. But I have a problem now that I am out of the relationship, I have the problem of forgetting about all the nasty things my ex boyfriend would tell me. He would make me feel worthless as if I am no good. I try to act like I am okay and everything will be fine but I can’t sleep at night because the words keep haunting me and I get flashbacks of how he used to abuse me.
I am a spontaneous young lady full of energy and he took that away from me: he made me feel like I was a good for nothing. I am trying to get over it but I just cant let go of the memories.
He made me bitter, I have so much hate and as a result people stay away from me but what I need is to just feel happy and loved, like I matter to someone somewhere. I had a miscarriage in the relationship as well and that kills me because I can’t handle children: I feel like it was supposed to be my baby laughing or smiling.
I saw my baby, held his hand and heard him cry: I loved him from the moment I found out I was pregnant. I don’™t talk about it often but I am heartbroken. I dream of my baby his face and of his little body, his fingers around my finger. I used to call him Michael.I loved him so and my ex did not even care.
He blamed me and I feel as if it was my fault he died, my fault that my life ended up this way. I just wish I could forget and deal with it I just do not want to think about it. I want to be the way I was, laughing and making people’s day with my jokes. I used to love life – now I’m so bitter and angry. How do I forget: how do I move on?

1 comment

Winnie Binoga May 10, 2016 - 7:13 pm

So sorry abt that Julie.The best advice i can give you right now is to see a therapist who can help you come to terms with what happened to you.Also seek God’s guidance.You are so worthy n precious in his eyes no matter what yo ex says abt you.God sacrificed what he holds most dear, his son, to die for you.that is proof enough to show how worthy u are.he will heal your wounds,and make u alive Him


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