Help, I am not Getting Adequate Support in My Marriage.

By Duchess Magazine

Here is a message we received in our inbox. We will appreciate your contributions on this issue. Remember that a problem shared is a problem half solved. If you have an issue bothering you, feel free to send a mail to

Dear Duchess,

My name is Ruth, I have a problem with my marriage and I think that it is just going to get worse. I love my husband but I feel sad, frustrated and hurt.

The problem is that I am rather overweight. This in itself is not the problem. I was 40 kg overweight when my husband and I fell in love three years ago. He was about 20 kgs overweight. He is a tall, big man and can actually get away with this extra weight better then I can.

I have not been happy being so large and my health has taken a knocking. My knees particularly took strain when I went to work everyday, as my job requires being on my feet a lot.

I turn 30 in October. At my last birthday I was the biggest that I have ever been. I was horrified when I looked at the photos and decided there and then that enough was enough and that I would make the year before I turn 30 count in terms of getting healthier.

I have also been battling to conceive and know that my weight can be a contributing factor.

I went to see a dietician and I started swimming a few times a week. As the kilos fell off, I began to feel more mobile and started walking everyday that I was not swimming.

I started out needing to lose 55 kgs and to date I have lost 35 kgs! One problem is really flabby skin that I feel very self-conscious about.

My husband is not supportive of my journey at all

He first began by telling me that I was wasting time and money and would not stick to it. I have tried and failed before – many times.

He always makes snide remarks when I prepare an alternative meal to him

He is not interested in eating healthily at all. He will come home with bags of chips and crunches them in front of me.

He says that he fell in love with me as I was and doesn’t understand why I want to change. He doesn’t even accept that I am healthier now.

He says that he fell in love with me as I was and doesn’t understand why I want to change. He doesn’t even accept that I am healthier now

The other night he told me that I look disgusting with all my flabby skin

I was so hurt. I’m trying to take charge of my life and be the best me that I can. I can’t understand why he is being so mean. He is loving in other ways but this weight loss has brought out the worst in him.

Please help Duchess.

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