Help! Am trapped in a devastating Marriage.

By Duchess Magazine

Here is a message we received in our inbox. We will appreciate your contributions on this issue. Remember that a problem shared is a problem half solved. If you have an issue bothering you, feel free to send a mail to
Dear Duchess,
I plead to be anonymous, I have been married for 17 years now and I feel like I’m trapped in a marriage which I will never have the courage to leave.
I have lived through physical abuse, verbal abuse, emotional abuse and an affair. He did it to me in public.

My husband had an affair with my best friend, whom I considered a sister, six years ago

He asked me to give him a month to decide whether he wants me or her, but I fought for him as I have two daughters and I had nowhere else to go. He decided to stay with the girls and he ended the affair. However, I wanted the marriage to work for all the wrong reasons then.
As time went by, I realised that I resented him and what he did to me as a woman.

He tormented me when he had the affair, and made me feel so worthless as a woman

I met someone two years ago whom I have fallen in love with, and who treats me with the respect that my husband never showed me.
On 1 January this year my husband physically abused me for a misunderstanding with my daughter and he chased me out of the house. I left for a week and then returned. But when I moved back in I told him I wanted a separation.

He refuses to let go of the marriage

He has given up alcohol in these three months and he has changed in terms of his behaviour and attitude. He has calmed down and he is controlling his temper. But I still want out of this marriage. However I feel pressured by my family and girls to give him a last chance.

I still want out of this marriage. However I feel pressured by my family and girls to give him a last chance

What I truly want is out of this marriage

However I feel sorry for him now and the girls. If I stay it will be out of pity, and not because that’s what I truly want. I’m really confused as I don’t know whether I should stay as a duty to my children and duty as a wife as I promised to God.
Please help.

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