I Just Found Out That I Cannot Conceive, Should I Tell My Fiance?

By Duchess Magazine

Here is a message we received in our inbox. We will appreciate your contributions on this issue. Remember that a problem shared is a problem half solved. If you have an issue bothering you, feel free to send a mail to duchessintmagazine@yahoo.com

Dear Duchess,

I recently found out that, due to an abnormality in my uterus, I cannot carry pregnancy full-term. (Technically I am fertile, but I have something like a 90%+ chance of miscarriage, and it’s incredibly dangerous for the fetus).There may or may not be an option in surgery, but it’s unclear whether that will reduce risk for baby.

My long time boyfriend and I are engaged and we have both discussed our want for children, and have gone as far as choosing names for our future children.We’ve been together for about 4 years and he is aware there’s a complication, as I’ve had to get MRIs and ultrasounds, but I’ve only just found out about this news.

My biggest fear is that he’s basically going to say that having children is too important for him to give up, so he will leave.  And that, eventually, this problem will follow me through life… Meet man, date man, love man, tell him I can’t or shouldn’t have babies, he leaves.

We both have discussed adoption as a “hey what do you think of this thing?” and he’s not into the idea. I really love him and I do not want to lose him. Has anyone been in this position? Do you have any advice?


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