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Dear Duchess,
I plead to be anonymous, I have a delicate situation am facing and would LOVE some advice.
I started out really liking my sister-in-law but then I started noticing that she is flirty with my partner (her husband’s brother). I chose to ignore it, in case I was reading it wrong or imagining it. I never told anyone about what I felt – not even my partner.
When my mom met her at a family gathering, within 30 minutes she pulled me aside and said “Watch out for this one, she has eyes for your man”.
I knew then that I was definitely not imagining the things I had seen in the past. It was real.
When my mom met her at a family gathering, she pulled me aside within 30 minutes and said “Watch out for this one: she has eyes for your man”
Because it’s family, and because I trust my partner, I decided to focus on her good points and just let things slide. But I can’t help feeling uncomfortable around her and try to limit my time with her because it drains me to pretend all is hunky dory, when it’s not.
I will never be rude or mean to her, but I just don’t feel I should be expected to make any extra effort with her. She continues to do things that I feel are not right and it annoys the hell out of me.
How do I handle this?
We are a close-knit family and often do things together, and soon there will be children who will be cousins in the mix. I want a happy vibe between everyone, but at the same time, I also can’t fake my feelings towards someone.
I don’t want to discuss the issue with many people because I don’t want to ruin what they feel or think about her. I feel this is my problem.
Is it enough to tolerate her and be polite to keep the family happy or should I be making more of an effort to overlook her bad points, which we all have, for the sake of our family’s happiness?
Thank you, waiting for your candid advice.
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