Confessions of a DC Lawyer-Lobbyist-Turned-L.A. Comedy Writer-Producer

by Duchess Magazine
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After living and breathing politics for seven years in Washington, D.C., the author quit her job and moved to Los Angeles to pursue her lifelong dream.

as an only child and a latchkey kid, I spent a disconcerting amount of my childhood alone in front of a TV … and I loved every minute of it! By age 17, I knew exactly what I wanted to do with the rest of my life—I was going to make more of the shows that I wanted to watch. So I proudly told my father that I was going to college to study television and film.

Wellll … clearly I had been watching too much damn TV. My conversation with my father didn’t go anything like the ones in ’80s family sitcoms where parents said things like, “We love you, Timmy, and we support you no matter what.” And it definitely didn’t end with a “sitcom hug.”
Instead, my dad began and ended our conversation with a string of words that I’m not allowed to type here. Let’s just say that he wanted me to pursue a more “traditional” career—one that ensured that once I moved away from home, I never moved back.
Soooo … I went to the University of Michigan Law School (Go, Blue!) and became a lobbyist at a swanky firm on Washington, D.C.’s infamous K Street, where I got paid big bucks to represent companies like Starbucks and Delta Air Lines. I had the kind of career that wouldn’t cause my parents to be embarrassed when Cousin Larry Earl walked up to them at the family reunion with a mouthful of sock-it-to-me cake and asked, “What’s Akilah up to these days?”
By all accounts, I was “living the dream.” It just wasn’t my dream, and you can only fake it for so long before you get what I like to call “going-through-the-motions sickness.”
So, on April Fools’ Day 2013, when I was just a year shy of being up for partner at my firm, I packed my things and moved cross-country to the City of Angels to finally pursue my lifelong dream of becoming a comedy writer.
My dad’s first response when I told him my plan was, “I didn’t realize that you thought you were funny.” Thanks, Dad! But he knows that I’ve inherited his adventurous spirit and fearlessness. (He also knew that, this time, he didn’t have any say because he was no longer paying my bills.)
So I showed up in Los Angeles with a very clear vision of what I wanted to do and a very vague notion of how to get there—just unfounded confidence that it would all work out. Shortly after I arrived in L.A., comedian and showrunner Greg Fitzsimmons—who is the brother-in-law of one of my closest friends from law school (Go, Blue!)—hired me for a brief stint as a writer’s assistant for a VH1 late-night talk show, where I got to learn all about strip clubs and trap music in Atlanta. Greg’s advice to me on my first day of work was, “Feel free to pitch ideas. … But don’t be a lunatic.” Copy that.
I was then selected to write for the CBS diversity sketch-comedy showcase, through which I met my manager, and I began writing a number of TV scripts, some of which have advanced in network fellowship competitions.
Currently, I work full time on Chelsea Handler’s new Netflix talk show, Chelsea, researching, pitching and developing comedic segments, and I sometimes consult for Real Time With Bill Maher on HBO. I also co-wrote and am producing my first movie, Scratch, an indie horror-comedy that is currently in postproduction. And last month I got my first paid acting gig!
Fun fact: I graduated from a top 10 law school and passed two bar exams, yet many of my friends haven’t been nearly as excited about anything that I’ve accomplished as they are about me being on Netflix for five seconds.

Akilah Green in a scene from Chelsea


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