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Dear Duchess,
I have been in a long term (unmarried and not living together) relationship for 5 years. My husband-to-be and I are currently in couples counseling, but this is one issue that I am apprehensive about bringing up. He was a single father of a little girl when I met him and she was just turning 5 at the time. She slept in his bed then and with both of us sometimes, and it wasn’t weird to me. As she’s gotten older and almost as big as me, it has become very weird! We have a son together too, now 4 years old, who we’ve taught to sleep in his own bed most of the time. Visitation with his daughter over the years has been Friday-Monday every week. Most of those nights they sleep together in his room or on the couch. When I sleep over she behaves as if his bed is hers and does not get out to go to her own room at bed time, nor does he require it. This weekend I stayed at his house 3 days. I put our son to sleep in his bed each night and clearly designated my place in the master bedroom. At bedtime each night, instead of coming to sleep with me, my husband-to-be went to sleep in his daughter’s twin sized bed with her as I lay there alone in his queen sized bed! We have had a wonderful weekend besides that, no arguments or reasons to sleep separately. Why do they continue to want to sleep together? It just seems so odd to me, especially as big as she is. I don’t want to accuse him of something inappropriate, but is it just me? Is this inappropriate?