My Sister Wants Me To Assist Her Fertility Treatments But I Don’t Want to!

By Duchess Magazine

Here is a message we received in our inbox. We will appreciate your contributions on this issue. Remember that a problem shared is a problem half solved. If you have an issue bothering you, feel free to send a mail to

Dear Duchess,

I’m 32, married for 10 years. My husband and I, after four miscarriages, decided that children just aren’t in the cards for us. Neither of us is too broken up about this – we were in the ‘0-1’ camp anyways.

My sister, [who is 27], got married about a year and a half ago and is experiencing similar fertility issues. I know of at least two failures to carry, including a loss at 5.5 months gestation. She and her husband both really, really want kids.

This is the problem – my sister asked me for help paying for fertility treatments. Personally, I believe fertility treatments are unethical: you’re using your limited resources for a plan that may or may not succeed in order to pass on your genetic material that is pretty obviously flawed. That and there’s the whole adoption-of-already-existing-children angle.

The biggest kicker is that money is not an issue for my family, it is for hers. I honestly don’t think that they’re in a good position financially or emotionally for kids, period, let alone the rigors of fertility treatment. Buuuut… how do I tell her I won’t pony up the cash so she can be a mommy?


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