I have always believed that no woman should enter marriage thinking her survival depends on a husband. Yet society still treats marriage as a safety net as if women cannot prepare for life independently. But what happens when that safety net fails? Husbands can lose jobs, fall ill, or even pass away unexpectedly. Relying entirely on marriage for financial security or personal growth is risky and dangerous. Women must build their own foundation—skills, resources, and independence—so that they can thrive regardless of circumstances. Marriage should be a partnership, not a lifeline, and it should never replace a woman’s ability to stand on her own.
For too long women were trained to serve homes they never chose. Girls were married off as teenagers, denied education, and discouraged from dreaming beyond the walls of their households. Their lives were prewritten—care for a husband, birth children, manage the household—while personal growth and self-sufficiency were considered luxuries if not irrelevant. I ask you, why should ambition be sacrificed for tradition? Why should dreams be replaced with domestic duty? These old patterns explain why so many women today still struggle with dependence, but they also make it clear why we must change the narrative.
The consequences of relying fully on a husband are all around us. I have seen mothers, grandmothers, and aunts give everything to everyone else while their own potential went untapped, waiting for permission to live. Some only reclaimed independence once their children were grown. Relying entirely on a partner can leave women powerless, vulnerable, and trapped. Marriage should never replace self-reliance. It should support it, amplify it, and provide a space where women can continue building the skills, ambition, and independence they deserve.
The dangers of complete dependence are real and urgent. Some women face abuse because their husbands know they have no value beyond asking for support. Many cannot afford their basic needs, let alone provide for their children independently. Some cannot even buy their husbands a gift—not for lack of desire but because they have no means. Marriage carries responsibilities, and when a wife cannot contribute, even in small ways, it can strain the partnership. Husbands can struggle too, and while support does not mean taking over their responsibility, a wife without resources is powerless to assist. Dependence, even on one’s own family, diminishes dignity and limits value.
No woman should enter marriage without building her own foundation. Self-sufficiency is not selfish—it is protection, empowerment, and preparation. A woman who can stand on her own is stronger, elevates her marriage, contributes meaningfully, and safeguards her children’s future. Marriage should never cage ambition or make women vulnerable. It should amplify potential, create partnerships of equals, and honor the woman’s right to live fully, confidently, and independently.
Build yourself first, because no marriage should be your safety net.
