Help! My Memories Hunts and weigh me down.

Here is a message we received in our inbox. We will appreciate your contributions on this issue. Remember that a problem shared is a problem half solved. If you have an issue bothering you, feel free to send a mail to duchessintmagazine@yahoo.com
Dear Duchess,
My name is Julie, I was in a relationship for four years, I was physically and emotionally abused as well but I got out. But I have a problem now that I am out of the relationship, I have the problem of forgetting about all the nasty things my ex boyfriend would tell me. He would make me feel worthless as if I am no good. I try to act like I am okay and everything will be fine but I can’t sleep at night because the words keep haunting me and I get flashbacks of how he used to abuse me.
I am a spontaneous young lady full of energy and he took that away from me: he made me feel like I was a good for nothing. I am trying to get over it but I just cant let go of the memories.
He made me bitter, I have so much hate and as a result people stay away from me but what I need is to just feel happy and loved, like I matter to someone somewhere. I had a miscarriage in the relationship as well and that kills me because I can’t handle children: I feel like it was supposed to be my baby laughing or smiling.
I saw my baby, held his hand and heard him cry: I loved him from the moment I found out I was pregnant. I don’™t talk about it often but I am heartbroken. I dream of my baby his face and of his little body, his fingers around my finger. I used to call him Michael.I loved him so and my ex did not even care.
He blamed me and I feel as if it was my fault he died, my fault that my life ended up this way. I just wish I could forget and deal with it I just do not want to think about it. I want to be the way I was, laughing and making people’s day with my jokes. I used to love life – now I’m so bitter and angry. How do I forget: how do I move on?