Be a Mum To My Children.

My mother chose my father against us, growing up was rough; there was no one protecting us from the hands of my step mothers.My mother was scared.If she caused trouble she would have been sent packing.

My mother would cling to my father, while her children needed direction, we needed reassurance and love.

The impression we always got from her was, “look guys it’s not about me or you, it’s about your Dad.”
She was not so bothered about us like that, but all of that didn’t come to reality until now after leaving my first marriage.

I realized a lot of things I did not know. Things that I should have learnt at a younger age; like dealing with my emotions, how to relate with people without being hurt, how important communication is? And how I can stay positive in life and keep pressing on, until I achieve great things.

My life was full of mistakes, I had no one to correct me,My life was full of unnecessary generosity. No one to pull me back, to tell me,”be careful, not everybody loves you.”

My life was full of failures, no one to encouraged me. My life was full of negative thoughts, no one urged me to be positive.
My life is a life of torture.
My life is a life of uncertainty.
My life is a life of impossibility.

If my parents were to be dead, may be my life would have faced another meaningful direction and I won’t have been upset about things I did not learn at a younger age.
I would have always had in my head—–they are dead anyway, they would have done better if they were to be alive.

Looking at my life now, I  want to achieve great success, I want to look beautiful.I want to work hard and make money to take care of my kids, but I always remember I must not make the same mistake my mother made.

It is not about that money I desire to make in life, it is not about that great success or that new hot boyfriend I just met.It’s about living a wealthy life, living a life where I am able to strike a balance between my life, my kids and my career.
Life can be tough and people wait for validation from us. We sometimes get carried away and pursue the wrong things in life;trying to impress or prove a point.
To who?

We forget to spend that quality time with our children, we forget how important growing up is to them and at some point we realize that they are fully grown and wonder how they got there.
We must have missed the most important part of their lives running around town, trying to prove a point to friends and fans and haters.
We forget to build that relationship with them and we struggle for that when they get to an independent age.
We wonder why they don’t ask for us often.

We wonder why we are not so close to them, we feel we did our best for them by clothing them and paying their school fees, but how much time is being dedicated to them in order to know them? We can live with someone under the same roof and not really know them. Life is a journey and a story that has to be told at some point in our lives.

How will your children describe you or how will your story be told?